SIMPLE PLEASURES- For Couples Confronting Cancer: An Activity for a Woman and her Partner

As a couple confronting cancer, your romance may be at its peak, or it may

be suffering due to the tremendous demands on both of you. This exercise is

designed to reintroduce small gestures of romance into your relationship.

Step One

On separate sheets of paper, make a list of small things your partner does

regularly that please you and make you feel loved or “courted.” List everything

you can think of. Stick to the small things, such as holding your hand in

the car or at the doctor’s office, kissing you at the end of the day, or pouring

your coffee in the morning.

Step Two

Add to the list any behaviors from earlier in your relationship that brought

you pleasure (leaving a note or card, calling during the day to check in).

Step Three

Add three small things you wish your partner would do more often or just

once or twice. These should be from your imagination (bring home a rose,

rub your feet, talk to family members when they call, dance with you in the

living room, read a favorite story or poem to you).

Step Four

Rank the behaviors by how much pleasure they bring to you. Rank the most

pleasurable behavior as number one.

Step Five

Exchange lists. Without discussing it, try to do one thing from your partner’s

list each day. If you or your partner is too tired or ill to do anything on the

list, tell your partner what you would do if you weren’t too tired. For example,

say to your partner, “I’m imagining rubbing your feet right now. I would

love to do that for you.”