ADJUST TO BODY CHANGES- For A Woman Confronting Body Changes after Cancer: A Mirror Activity

Before starting the exercise:

Remember that you can stop this exercise at any time; you don’t have to be entirely nude the first couple of times. You do not have to complete this activity all in one day. It may take you several days, or even weeks to accomplish this activity!

It may be important to have a spouse, lover, partner, family member or friend there to support you for the first few attempts.

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror? Many people notice only what they dislike about their looks. When they look in the mirror, they see pale skin, hair loss, or skinny legs. They fail to see the classic profile, a small waist, expressive eyes, or a pretty smile. Find a time when you have privacy for at least 15 minutes. Be sure to take enough time to really think about your appearance. Study yourself for the  whole time, using the largest mirror you have. What parts of your body do you look at the most? What do you avoid seeing? Do you catch yourself having negative thoughts about your appearance? What are your best features? Has cancer or its treatment changed the way you look?

Try the mirror exercise first when you are nicely dressed. If you normally wear clothing or special accents to disguise changes from cancer therapy, wear them during the mirror exercise. Practice this activity two or three times, or until you can look in the mirror and see at least three positive things about your looks.

When you are comfortable seeing yourself as a stranger might see you, then try the mirror exercise dressed as you would like to look for a lover. If you’re in the midst of chemotherapy, put on a wig or pretty scarf and some light makeup.

If you’ve had a mastectomy, wear your breast prosthesis or a lacy nightgown.  Look at your self for a few minutes, repeating the steps in the first mirror exercise. What is most attractive and sexy about you? Pay yourself at least three  compliments on how you look.

Finally, try the mirror exercise in the nude, without disguising any changes made by the cancer. If you have trouble looking at a scar, or a bare scalp, take enough time to get used to the area. Most changes are not nearly as unattractive as they seem at first. If you feel tense while looking at yourself, take a deep breath and try to let all of your muscles relax as you exhale. Don’t stop the exercise until you have found three positive features, or at least remember the three compliments you gave yourself before.