According to Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve, “Sexy talk is a powerful aphrodisiac”.

The language of lust does not come easy to some of us. 86% of women surveyed of more than 3100 agreed that emotional contact –which includes verbal communication-, is essential for sexual satisfaction.

Speaking up helps you get what you want!! To get started, start off slow and practice often. It can be as simple as saying “I really liked when you did this or that”. Read a steamy novel or watch a steamy movie to get ideas or passages to try out.

The more you get comfortable with it, the easier it gets and it will help spice up your routine and can make sex more gratifying. Speaking up is the easiest way to ensure your own satisfaction and bring you closer to your partner.

Self Magazine May 2008

Pillow Talk101 by Jenna McCarthy

Here is a Script to help you get started!!

 Relax and Have Fun with it!! 

(Term of Endearment), would you do me a favor? It may sound a little (adjective), but rather than calling me (Your Name), would you mind calling me (Name of your SEXY alter Ego)?  It’s just that when I hear you say that, it makes me feel all tingly right on my (Body Part).  Hmmm, now, what shall I call you? How about

(sexy name for your honey) or (sexier name for your honey)?  No, No, No, I know!! I’m going to call you (Naughty word that would shock your mother if she heard it come out of your mouth)!! Please, (decided upon name), will you help me get out of this (article of clothing)?  Hurry!! If you don’t undress me quickly, I think I might (Verb that in some way implies unrest)!!!

Thank you. Now I want you to very (adverb that ends in –ly), put your hands on my (highly sensitive area), and kiss me on my (erogenous zone).  If you want to, I will even let you (Sex move you probably tried in College).

Good. Now, once you feel ready, I want you to take me to (location). Then, turn the lights (on/off), take off your (article of clothing) and I will tell you some other (Sexy Adjective), things I’ve been thinking of doing with you when we’re alone. 

Pillow Talk 101/Self Magazine May 2008

Sex in America today is more than just penis in the vagina. People do a lot more other things.

According to BreastCancer.org, up to 25% of couples between the ages of 30 and 60 regularly engage in Oral Sex. I think that number is too low based on my client’s responses.

Masturbation, just the word alone, can make some “cringe”. According to the authors of “Sex in America”, Masturbation is a practice that few discuss, that’s condemned by many, and that makes some of us feel guilty—but many if not most people masturbate. “Masturbation is a normal form of sexual activity and release. It helps provide a form of exercise and conditioning for the vagina” per Marisa Weiss, MD.

Massage is a wonderful relaxant and an aphrodisiac. If your sexual response is sluggish, this could help “warm “you up. Most people are on their feet all day. A foot rub can be very sensual, as well as a back rub.

Exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on a person’s sex life. It helps to stimulate the production of endorphins which contributes to a sense of well-being.Kegel exercises are an excellent way to strengthen your pubococcygeal (“PC”) muscle to aid in better bladder control and stronger orgasms.

Communication is key to what you want. Sex can be more than an “in and out” event. I encourage you to explore yourself.                                                                                                   

Beyond Intercourse/BreastCancer.Org

Basic Instinct:  Place a small drop on wrists, inside the elbow crease, behind ears, knees and ankles!  You can also wear your favorite perfume with your Basic Instinct! Unisex.

Between the Sheets:  Shake well and spray in short blasts.  If there is a “Wet Spot” on the sheets wipe up the gift and then lightly spray Between the Sheets on the wet area. Allow to dry and brush it away.

Sensations:  Apply a dime to nickel size amount to desired area (shaft/vaginal) for a “warm/hot” oral treat.

Whipped:  Rub into skin for an edible massage, or use a quarter size amount as a lubricant for love making or with bedroom toys: Works wonderful with the Jelly C‑Ring, Jelly Tool Belt, and Super Stretch!

Great Head:  Relaxes your Throat and works as a strong heightener and /sanitizing gel for oral play on him. Apply a dime size amount on the Head/Main Vein Only!  If you have a sensitive gag reflex apply another dime/nickel size amount onto the roof of your mouth and swallow it down… helps to relax those throat muscles.

Booty Eaze:  Topical Pain Reliever… for anal play; apply a pearl sized amount on the opening of the anus.Allow to absorb into the skin before penetration. It is highly recommended that you use a thick Lubricant like Whipped, or Pleasure our Silicone Lubricant!  Great for mouth sores, teething, tooth aches, insect bites/stings, and eye brow plucking… benzocaine based.

Ex-T-Cee:  Mild edible clitoral heightener in different flavors Mint, Strawberry, White Chocolate Cherry.  Apply a pea size amount on the clitoris and the labia. Heightens the sexual experience especially when touched and rubbed. It is also air activated.

Nympho Niagra: Medium strength heightening arousal balm to get you in the mood and increase circulation/stimulation on you.  Apply a pea size amount to the clitoris and labia. It starts to work 4‑10 minutes. (Non Edible)

X~Scream:  Strongest Edible “Unisex” Heightener…  For her, apply a pea size amount on the clitoral/labia.  For him rub a dime size amount into the shaft of penis. Best to use before intercourse, oral favors and bedroom accessories use.

Lickity Stiff: Edible sensitizing cream for a man.  Stimulates the nerve endings in the shaft area. It aids in the quickness of reaching arousal.  Apply a quarter size amount all over the penis to masturbate with the Super Stretch…  For the “Edible Oral Play” rub cream into skin until absorbed completely in.

Like a Virgin: 24 hour tightening cream for the inner vaginal walls. It is effective within 10 minutes of application!  Rub about a pea/dime size amount on the upper inner vaginal walls past the entry area.  *Not recommended for pregnant women… can cause some vaginal dryness, using a lubricant is recommended! **You’ll only feel the effects of the cream during love making!

Time In A Bottle: Edible prolonging cream for him. The Mint is the (Strongest) and Passion Fruit is the mildest) formula.  Use a quarter size amount separated into thirds…  Apply a third to each area:  the shaft/main vein, the testicles, and the head of the penis.  *Needs to soak in for 5‑10 minutes for best results!

Body Dew: 100% Carnation Oil Moisturizer…  After your shower, spritz your body with body dew and rub into skin.  Wash hands and then pad off entire body with towel… Helps relieve the dry skin, enhances a tan, and replenishes the skin leaving it feeling smooth and soft with a natural healthy glow. *Add Basic Instinct for a More Tropical Twist.

Coochy: Unisex rash free shaving cream.  After a bath or shower, rub a dime/nickel size amount into desired area prior to shaving.  Allow to set for a few to condition hair and then shave, after shaving rinse away… Great for hair conditioning too!!

Just Like Me:  Water based and pH balanced lubricant that mimics a woman’s own natural lubrication. 

Pleasure:  Silicone lubricant recommended & used for anal play. It has a silky feeling and doesn’t go away or get sticky!

Sweet Seduction: Water & glycerin based lubricant… Great for Toy, water or partner play!  *All Natural & Fragrance Free.

Dil Do’s & Dil Don’ts

Always remove batteries before each cleaning and before storing

Never mix old batteries or use “worn out” batteries in your new toys. This can cause severe damage to your toy’s motor!!

Never submerge your toy totally under water (unless it’s waterproof).After using waterproof accessories, pull out the batteries and let the battery compartment air dry to prevent rusting.

Never use soap & water, even if it’s antibacterial agent. Soap, rubbing alcohol, baby oil and Vaseline type products will damage and deteriorate the vinyl plastic and silicone products. These types of cleaning agents do not penetrate deep inside the pores of a toy to clean it properly, causing bacteria to grow.

Always clean your toy before & after use. Use Come Clean toy cleaner. It contains a safe antibacterial cleaning agent that is the safest way to clean all bedroom toys, and keeps them soft.

Never swing or forcibly pull toys by their cord, it may damage or break the connection and wiring.

Store your toys after cleaning in cloth bags or towels in a cool dry place. Avoid storing in any extreme environment, i.e., near a heat vent/air conditioner. Also be sure to avoid moist areas (bathroom).

Silicone lubricants like our “Pleasure” are NOT recommended to be used with Super Stretch, Pleasure Ring, Booty Call, Magic Jelly Rings, G- Whiz, Pickle Pleaser, etc. It can deteriorate and damage these types of silicone products.

To avoid “stickiness” of toys after use & cleaning, lightly dust them with powder. I recommend Dust Me Pink. Most “store” powders can contain talc which is harmful for internal use. Dust Me Pink is edible, sugar-free and vaginal friendly.

Our products are not manufactured with latex. They are made with a High Quality Vinyl Plastic or Silicone Material.

Please remember C-Rings and Sleeves require a lubricant such as Whipped, Just Like Me, Lickity Stiff, or Sweet Seduction.

Please remember to TEST “ALL Battery Operated products immediately…

Any questions or concerns contact me!!

Patty Marmann

Your Pure Romance Consultant

503.475.5060

pattymarmann@pureromance.com

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce increased amounts of estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed love-making reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Love-making can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.
8. Smooch while in the sack. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A love-making session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels to the brain.
10. A lot of love-making can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

From Inspire 3^rd Quarter 2006

What are Kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises are exercises used to strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle (often called the “PC muscle” or referred to as part of the “pelvic floor muscles”). These muscles support the urethra, bladder, uterus and rectum.

How are Kegel exercises helpful?

Strengthening one’s pelvic floor muscles may help to prevent or improve urinary incontinence, increase the strength of women’s and men’s orgasm, or improve ejaculatory control (for men). In addition, some women and men simply find these exercises pleasurable to do.

How do I find the correct muscles?

A common description that is used when describing Kegel exercises (for both women and men) is that one squeezes the same muscles as one would squeeze when stopping the flow of urine. While these exercises are better practiced when you are not going to the bathroom, you can practice finding them during such a time. Alternatively, women can insert a finger the vaginal entrance and squeeze her muscles around it. If she feels pressure around her finger, she has likely found the current muscle.

Women and men should keep their other muscles relaxed – do not bear down or squeeze the thigh muscles, back or abdominal muscles. As Kegel exercises are commonly recommended by ob/gyn doctors and nurses, many women ask their healthcare provider to teach them the correct technique. Men can ask a urologist for more information or guidance.

How do I do Kegel exercises?

Once you have found the correct muscles, there are a variety of ways that you can do Kegel exercises including:

-         Squeezing your muscles for 4 seconds, relaxing them for 4 seconds, then repeating the sequence for about 5 minutes

-         “Pulsing” your muscles (e.g., squeezing for only 1 or 2 seconds, relaxing for 1 or 2 seconds, then repeating about 10 times)

You can try these routines, building up to longer amounts of time squeezing the muscles (e.g., 6 or 8 seconds), or to a higher number of repetitions. Kegel exercises can be done lying down, sitting up, while watching television or sitting at a stop light. That said, if you are doing these exercises for health reasons (e.g., related to urinary incontinence), ask your healthcare provider about the best routine for you, as they may be more effective when you are not distracted by other things such as TV. As no other muscles should be squeezed, it should not be outwardly visible what you are doing, so you can do them whenever is most convenient.

How often should I do Kegel exercises?

Some healthcare providers and health educators recommend doing them once or twice a day, every day, for about 5 minutes each time. If you are interested in doing Kegel exercises for health reasons (e.g., to prevent or to improve urinary incontinence, or for reasons related to pelvic prolapse), ask your healthcare provider what is right for you and remember that it may take time (sometimes 6-12 weeks) to see improvement. Do not worry if you cannot squeeze your PC muscle for very long; with practice, these exercises should become easier.

Many men (and their partners) are interested in learning about techniques to improve men’s ejaculatory control. Although these techniques are often used in sex therapy for men who experience premature ejaculation (sometimes called “rapid” or “involuntary” ejaculation), any man can make use of these techniques.

Before a man practices either technique, it is important for him to learn to identify his “point of no return” (what sex researchers and therapists sometimes call “the point of ejaculatory inevitability”), meaning the point at which he will ejaculate no matter what happens. This is one way in which men and women differ sexually. Even if women feel very aroused and about to have an orgasm, any number of things (e.g., what to make for dinner, a work deadline) may enter a woman’s mind, distract her, and prevent her from having an orgasm. While this can happen to men early in the process as well, there comes a time (that “point of no return”) when a man will ejaculate no matter what happens. There is simply no stopping it, and seconds later, he will ejaculate. Men who wish to use these techniques to improve their ejaculatory control must learn to identify when they are approaching this “point of no return”.

Two common techniques to improve men’s ejaculatory are the Stop-Start Technique and the Squeeze Technique. Both are typically practiced by a man alone during masturbation, although he can transfer his skills to partnered sexual activities after first practicing them alone. Here is how they work:

1. Stop-Start Technique. During masturbation, a man can practice stimulating his penis with his hand until he feels that he is approaching the point of no return. Just before this point, he should STOP all stimulation (e.g., stop touching his penis), allow his arousal to decrease somewhat (not all the way), and then START stimulation again. When he feels he is once again approaching the point of no return, he should stop stimulation once again and continue to repeat this cycle several times, if possible. When first practicing, many men mis-judge the point of no return and, consequently, they ejaculate without meaning to. This is okay; that is why practice can help! Eventually it should become easier to delay ejaculation.
2. Squeeze Technique. This starts out similar to the previous technique in that a man begins by stimulating his penis during masturbation. Just before the point of no return, he should stop stimulating his penis and instead gently squeeze the head (glans) of his penis such that his arousal decreases somewhat. Then he begins stimulation again and repeats the cycle several times, if possible.

Both of these techniques can be used alone during self-masturbation or together with a partner. Some men and women find that the Stop-Start technique is more easily incorporated into partner sex. Specifically, men find that – during sex with a partner – as they approach the point of no return, they can withdraw their penis from their partner’s vagina, mouth or anus (thereby stopping all stimulation), allow their arousal to decrease slightly, and then resume partner sex.

For more information about these and other strategies for increasing ejaculatory control, consider reading Coping with Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex by Dr. Michael Metz and Dr. Barry McCarthy.